Do I make a difference?
I have never thought about that question. I’ve taken notice of those who do. I notice those who make a difference in the way I would like to, however, I believe this thought has been subconscious.

I enjoy how I study, and realize that I consider questions and issues that have been raised by people I do life with – couples during “couch time”, men in the SPAR group and those I have coffee with, as well as my son who moves me toward topics I would never have gone, and my daughter who is the most natural deep thinker I’ve ever known. However, those I find making a difference (what I’m making up) are those who have an amazing insight into God’s Word. These people are people that “truly make a difference for God”. Without thinking much about it as to dwell on it, it’s just a fact that is – I am comparatively insignificant.
This is how I’ve lived life. I’ve always take opportunities that have come my way, yet never intentionally driving toward a goal. Well, there was one goal I was intentional about, marrying my wife Marcia!

The point is that I’ve never thought about making a difference in life, I’ve simply enjoyed relationship with God which has been a catalyst for others to pursue the same.
Suddenly, as in the last 30 minutes, I heard someone say in passing, “everyone makes a difference”. When we realize “everyone makes a difference” we will be more cognizant of the difference we make!

1 Cor. 4:20 “For the kingdom of God does not consist in talk but in power.” OMG! Intentional living is a humble recognition of the gifts God has given you and living out those gifts to edify others and glorify God.
Gal. 5:13 “For you were called to freedom, brothers…but through love serve one another.”
And Romans 12:3-8 says according to the measure of faith that God has assigned and having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us USE them.
“Any dead fish can float downstream”, but life to the full is in recognizing everyone makes a difference…you make a difference ”from God for God”!

There is a deficiency that may not be recognized, but it results in acting out by ways that cover-up, dismiss, diminish or deaden.
The distractions of life keep us in this place of unawareness and repetitive destructive behavior.
Selfishness, immaturity and pride keep us justifying.
Fear keeps the blinders on so we won't look at a cause or alternative, or even the beauty around us.
"Stuck" comes to mind, blind; living in dark deception.

We know that the deficiency is an inadequate view of God and who He says we are.
The Jewish people, even when they understood the Covenant of God with curses and blessings associated with it, walked their own way - a way that resembled the world around them. The prosperity of the other nations captivated them. They put aside God's ways for the ways of the world.

"Brokenness" is interesting to think about because the state of brokenness can take place in so many ways. It could be circumstances due to our own irresponsibility and life "implodes". It could be the very hand of God in the form of discipline, (Heb.12). It could be natural occurrences of a sin-sick world that all mankind suffers under. The point is that trials are an interruption, a gift to refocus, realign, reassess, or even to discover for the first time a reality that transcends what you see, touch, feel and have been striving in. Trying to make sense of, or survive in a world you can't seem to make work for you.

Brokenness is a place one stops and acknowledges they can't do life, or, there's more to life. The point is, circumstances move their eyes to something beyond themselves. Something they've forgotten, or may never have known,  but are now willing to look at. A place of humility, the place God desires every man to be...always. Why? Because God knows that we are only fulfilled and satisfied when our life is surrendered to His life.
In that place, one's eyes are open to new possibilities. Open to the beauty and celebrate the differences of their spouse. Open to loving others the way they are experiencing love from God, a love unconditional, long-suffering, sacrificial, forgiving.

In that place they learn about God's perspective for the wounds received in their past; wounds that have sabotaged their life. Wounds that left them with feelings of deficiency - throwing them into cycles of destructive behavior, leading them to brokenness.
A cycle that doesn't have to take place, but more times than not, do. A place where redemption and restoration brings a man to humility and gratitude which opens his heart up to the "important" in life, the eternal, relational and most valuable. In that place there is no deficiency, he's full, whole and complete. A place where "purpose" is discovered and responsibility embraced.

However, the key to unlock this door is in the quiet of solitude, free of distractions gazing upon God in the face of Jesus by his Word - Eph. 2:4,5 "But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved"  
(maturity through humility, humility through brokenness)

"God forgives and transforms, He does not overlook."
Can you wrap your mind around this thought? Because when you do, you will be filled with gratitude and you will engage in God's process.
Am I a 'dirty rotten' person trying to live 'good'? In my way of thinking, yes, but is that God's perspective? I know that when I'm unjustly hurt from my point of view, I can carry a grudge. This grudge will darken every area of my life. I can easily see the way my emotions affect my relationships is the same way God is affected by my inconsistencies with Him. Certainly, I've disappointed Him again.
Here's the difference: throughout the day I filter my experiences through my sense of value. With that, I'm either validated or offended. Not so with God. He does not connect my behavior to His value. My sin does not affect His purity. My distorted way of thinking doesn't define God. He's not moping around feeling insecure because I have yet again misrepresented Him in my life!
My emotional stability is in direct proportion to what I believe about God - His forgiveness, His holiness and His personal involvement in my life. I either believe what God says about me, and His transforming work in me, or I don't. If I don't, it doesn't affect God, but it certainly affects the way I walk. When will I embrace how God sees me as the reality, the filter that my life experiences pass through? In that place, I see myself realistically, forgive quickly, interpret another's words and ways in humility; a stability that brings peace.

Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD): stuck on negative thoughts or actions
Phobias: stuck on a fear
Eating disorders: stuck on negative eating behavior
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD): stuck on a past traumatic event

Most interesting to me is that "cause" is connected to "stuck on".
In 1John, John is stuck on God. Is there something to that? Is there a positive obsession, an addiction that can direct your mind and body toward love and good deeds, Heb.10:24?
1Jn.2:14 "I write to you, young men, because you are strong, and the word of God abides in you, and you have overcome the evil one."

This is an interesting verse. Young man, you are no longer held captive in Satan's domain. You have transferred from dark to light. You have something of great value abiding in you, giving you everything you need for life and godliness within Satan's domain. In a previous verse, verse 10 says, "Whoever loves his brother abides in the light, and in him there is no cause for stumbling." Though this world is dark you live in light. You are strong, God's word abides in you, you have overcome Satan. This is who you are! To live outside of this identity is to forget that you have everything you need in you for a new obsession, an addiction that recreates your thinking. New desires giving you a craving for God's word.  It's in that place you walk differently. Though you may be in the enemy's territory you don't have to live in his camp or be influenced by his people and his ways.
You are driven, be driven by God's word. You are strong, use your strength to love well. You have been transformed, the evidence that Satan no longer has power over your choices.

I have noticed something in me as years pass and my time with God continues; a greater longing for my glory, whether by way of Jesus coming again or by way of my own death. Rather than this being a morbid thought, or giving up on life and wishing for my own demise, I see it as living hope ignited by the unseen reality ever increasing in its reality.

Does 1 John 5:19 open my eyes to my present reality? Of course it does. Does 1 John 5:20 open my heart to understand what God has accomplished so that I might know Him and the identity which is only found in Him? Oh yes! Will this "knowing" (the intimacy of relationship) satisfy my soul while in this world to such an extent that the schemes of Satan to entice the needs of my flesh pale in comparison? Maybe. At times. Therein lies Paul's admonishment of verse 21. In light of the reality unseen, I'm empowered by the love of the God of that reality to surrender my felt desires to His will in His way, and thus I worship Him only.

Not only do I see the reality of the world I presently live in, but I'm also given a picture of the reality of glory that I'm growing to long for as time and life experience continue. So I will wait productively as I wait for what I long for.

Col.1:29 "For this I toil, struggling with all his energy that he powerfully works within me."

I do love how ESV puts verse 29 - "His energy...He powerfully works within me.
Note: His power and what He is working is not in lieu of my diligent work, ("for this I toil"). Interesting.
A paradox, sure. A contradiction? No, if anything I am encouraged to yield my will to the Potter's hand. In the end, His work is for my work in His work. 2Tim.3:17 "that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work."
"The apple in June is a perfect apple for June. It is the best apple that June can produce. But it is very different from the apple in October, which is a perfected apple. God’s works are perfect in every stage of their growth."

Brothers, there is a spectrum within Christianity and this spectrum is not predicated on anything but growth (maturity). Look close at Rom.14 there you will notice that the one offended by the freedom of another is considered weak in the faith, a weaker brother. Interestingly, Paul equates weak with legalistic, if legalistic then judgmental.

Could a legalistic brother still be in the spectrum of growth/maturity? Maybe, by observation, a legalist believes they've already arrived. Legalism is connected to a heart condition called pride, and within pride, there is 'standing'. Growth is of no concern, what matters most is the "list", hence judgment.  Whereas mature and immature are a place. In that place is process, in process is grace, curiosity, empathy, love, understanding, and truth. They are more concerned with truth than status, with relationship than the list.

Paul is quick to admonish the mature not to enter judgment on the weak brother. He reminds him of the real issue - a life lived unto God. It's in that relationship with God conviction is formulated. This conviction is in the quietness of one's heart. From that place conversation outside of judgment takes place, and growth cultivated, (on both sides).

Rom.12:1 "I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. 2 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect."

Interesting, if one moves to understand the good, acceptable and perfect will of God first they will most certainly find this information inadequate to do what they've purposed to do.
It's not until we embrace the full scope of God's mercy that we will respond in true worship. Here Paul tells us what true spiritual worship looks like. Presenting our bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God. Giving myself over to the will of God is a natural response to a heart of gratitude for mercy shown. God's salvation to me is undeserved. The very fact that I have life at all amidst my rebellious heart gives evidence of God's mercy.

This is a place of humility. I've been created with the capability of creating my destiny. In that reality, I have a propensity toward pride because of the power I have to control my life. However, I also recognize that I have been created. As such, I consider the Creator. I have been given the gift of life! My life is not my own. A Creator who has revealed himself, not just through what has been created, but also clearly through understandable communication, the Bible. His purpose is clear. His design is made known. Anything in my life contrary to His design is an act of rebellion directly toward Him for which I alone am responsible. Now, I understand His mercy! Now, I understand my response! Now, I am open to transformed thinking! Now, my eyes are open to God's will.

Adaptation, we are always looking to adapt; compensate for an area of weakness. The more we adapt, the weaker we get in that area. For example, concerning our Christian walk, Jesus said, "a new commandment I give to you, that you love one another." - "I can't love, but I can look like I love."
We can create external acceptability.
Consider another New Testament command - "This is the work of God, that you believe in him whom he has sent."
Your work is to believe His work - Jn.5:17 "My Father is working until now, and I am working." What does that mean? Since Gen.3 God's rest was interrupted by our sin. Since that time God has been working on our redemption, a work now complete in Christ on the cross, "it is finished". I rest on the work of Christ who paid the penalty for my sin.
Sabbath rest is no longer a day, but 'a way'. It's a way of life. It's a daily death to self. Because I am prone to live a life of acceptability, I yield my life to the Spirit by which I put to death the deeds of the body (Rom.8:13).
Gods redeeming work is still at work in me until my body is glorified. My work is now yielding to what God is doing, "that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.", (Phil.1:6). Who began the work and who will bring it to completion?
What is the completed work?
In Christ God sees me perfect, righteous, holy. In my glorified state, I am perfect, righteous, holy.
Because I presently see as through a glass dimly I am prone to work. I am prone to not fully embrace God's grace. Therefore, I'm prone to living a life of outward acceptability, adapting to situations keeping me in the best light.
Your work is not to maintain an image, but to yield to what God is doing in you.
My Christian walk is conforming me into the image of Christ. I grow and mature as I embrace the truth of God's word, in this case, it's living within the truth of Romans 8 - by the Spirit, I put to death the deeds of the body and are led by the Spirit of God as a son of God. There is no adaptation, only the embrace of regeneration! So walk in Him.

In marriage conflicts, first distinguish who it is with the problem. One person's problem may have nothing to do with other person. There are problems that aren't problems until one person takes personally the problem of the other. I would venture to say that most marriage problems fall into this category. Here are a couple of suggestions to keep yourself from falling prey to what your spouse is dealing with:

First embrace the spiritual reality that God is working out his will in your spouse.
When we were first married I was compelled to protect my wife from uncomfortable situations. At a seminar, my wife was interacting with the speaker. He posed an uncomfortable question. I went to answer the question for my wife so as to protect her. He stopped me and said, "don't prevent God from doing what God wants to do in your wife's life." Whoa! I had never thought of that. Suddenly I realized that God is involved in every area of life, not just the areas that I am aware of, i.e., church, Bible studies and fellowship group, and it was not my place to interrupt that process.
Daily life situations open the door for God to work. However, in marriage there is a perfect scapegoat at hand that can be blamed, used to divert responsibility or to conspire with. All of which distorts who this problem belongs to.
Why this happens is usually connected to the fear of rejection, both by the person who is sidestepping the problem and the person who is the unwitting scapegoat.
Take responsibility for what's yours and be comfortable in the tension of your spouses life.

Second, you and your spouse have the freedom to disagree. Disagreements are a part of one's individuality. Most of these situations are not right/wrong, but rather preference. When a couple embraces this truth cruelty and accusation diminish and peace follows.

Here is a few of The Five Agreements:
1. Be impeccable with your word
2. Don't take anything personally
3. Don't make assumptions
Ps. 129:33, 34 "Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."
See also the admonishing words of Col. 3:12-17

Do you care what other people think of you?  Better yet, should you care what other people think of you?  The answer isn't a simple "yes" or "no". It all depends on which direction you're coming from. Let me explain.

There is a tendency to let the opinions of others define us, direct us, or destroy us. Sometimes the opinions of others define us, or contribute to our identity. This becomes a problem if we receive negative feedback, and we have a wrong concept of our identity. Or maybe we make decisions based on what we think will make other people have a better opinion of us. This has certainly gotten us into trouble before, when we depend on the wrong people. Worse yet, we can let the hurtful statements of others crush us. Sometimes it only takes one hurtful comment to get us off track. When you look at the impact of these three types of situations, it might make sense to take the approach that we shouldn't be concerned about what other people think of us.

But there are some interesting scriptures that suggest an alternative view.
Proverbs 22:1 says "A good name is more desirable than great wealth"
In Acts 24:16, Paul says "...I also do my best to maintain always a blameless conscience both before God and before men."
1 Peter 2:12 says "Keep your behavior excellent among the Gentiles, so that in the thing in which they slander you as evildoers, they may because of your good deeds, as they observe them, glorify God in the day of visitation"
And when Paul is instructing Timothy in the qualities of a minister, he says "He must have a good reputation with those outside the church, so that he will not fall into reproach and the snare of the devil." - 1 Timothy 3:7
These are just a few of the numerous verses that show us the importance of maintaining a good reputation, especially with those who do not belong to the family of God.  But why?  

This is the second approach to the question of our reputation. In the first case, the opinions of others were causes that resulted in negative effects to us. In this case, though, the opinions of others are the result of something that God causes in us. Because we are Christians, we act, speak, and think in a manner that reflects Christ. When we do this, we will generally be thought well of by those around us. Obviously there will always be a few who dislike us for what we believe, but they won't be able to criticize us for the way we treat them.

So what are the practical benefits of this alternative approach?
First, we can use the opinions of others as a sort of mirror to help us identify areas where growth is needed. If we take an honest look at what others think, we may find that some of their negativity is warranted. Suppose my wife calls me lazy. If I'm willing to consider her opinion, I may find an area of my life where I can improve the way I show up. And if we are confident in our God-given identity, the unwarranted negative opinions of our detractors has less of a chance to lead us to make poor choices.
Second, there is value in having a good reputation among our Christian brothers and sisters. In Philippians chapter 2, Paul instructs the church to hold men like Epaphroditus in high regard. Why? Because it builds confidence in others. Think about the people in your life that you look up to as spiritual leaders. Does your opinion of them matter? Of course it does. It matters to you! If you have been in our ministry long, you probably have at least one or two people whose spiritual leadership has inspired you to go deeper in your own walk. What kind of man or woman do you want standing beside you when you go into battle? Are you that kind of person? Finally, and perhaps more importantly, how we are viewed by those who do not have a relationship with Christ has a lot to do with the effectiveness of our evangelistic efforts. In the passage from 1 Peter 2, the claim is being made that the unsaved, who see the good works of Christ followers, may be persuaded to become followers themselves.

It's comforting to know that our eternal destiny is not affected by the positive or negative opinions of others. But it's challenging to consider what kind of spiritual reputation I have among my brothers, as well as my unsaved neighbors. May God continue to refine me into a man who, like Paul, has "a blameless conscience both before God and before men."

A Thought to husbands

How you think about one another is key to intimacy.

To feel controlled within a marriage devastates individuality. Individuality is key to freedom.

Control is connected to bondage and bondage is not freedom.
   
Compliance is neither creative nor energizing. One loses one's identity in compliance. Compliance is not freedom.

If how you think about one another is key to intimacy, feeling controlled does not open one up to good thoughts any way you slice it.

If you don't believe Who is in control then you'll always live life trying to be.

Fear is connected to insecurity, insecurity is connected to a lack of confidence, connected to self-loathing, "which is" compensated by control.

Your identity is accepting who a sovereign God says you are - He then proved it by giving up His life for yours! Phil. 2:5 "Have this mind among yourselves, which IS YOURS in Christ Jesus, 6 who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, 7 but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. 8 And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross."

This act of "service" by God in the person of Jesus brought you abundant life. How did he do that? By setting you free.

This is the same picture playing out everyday for a husband toward his wife!

When we have been loved, we love. When we have been forgiven, we forgive. When we have been served, we serve. You've been served!

Your past no longer defines your value. Your perceived value is the key that gives freedom to your wife. What does that look like? You are comfortable with you, your environment, and the freedom she has living with you.

When you embrace this truth you will see her creativity restored and your marriage energized! How? Refer back to the first sentence - > what she thinks about you will change - love, acceptance and forgiveness has that way about it.

Embracing God's sovereignty doesn't mean circumstances have to change..... because your heart does....and you know that changes everything!

Just so you're clear about this conclusion: In God's sovereignty you are loved, accepted, chosen, forgiven and have value. When that is embraced, you have no problem giving God control because you are in His.

SPAR Thoughts

What Is Your Question?

If you find yourself stagnant in the midst of SPAR, bible study, or going to church, be aware that you may have fallen into a formulaic way of living Christianity.

We're all attracted to advice because we want to grow and improve. We're drawn to groups, wanting to belong and do the right thing. Not only that, but we want to be encouraged to live within the system of this world differently.  Yet all of a sudden, we stop growing, but we’re not aware of it.

What is happening? Could it be that we have fallen into 'answers' and have stopped asking questions?

At SPAR Monday night I noticed something about this group of men that each SPAR group must intentionally be aware of. Nearly every man was asking questions. As they heard a man's story they heard a man that had fallen into a status quo Christianity, and recognizing it, they asked questions that moved this man into a new perspective on God and himself!

Here's the point: our inquisitiveness will keep the "elements" of our Christian life connected to the Essence and always moving toward growth.

Life Is Hard....God Is Good

At SPAR I mentioned as illustration the 3 types of people (I believe this to be a Tim Keller observation):

Life is good, God is good
Life is not good, God is not good
Life is not good, God is good

A question was posed to me by email:

"You listed 3 different types of people last night, and how the person who thinks that Life is hard and God is good, is the only one who will draw near to God.

 I wonder how a person who perceives Life as good and God as good can change their perspective?"

Here is my response:
First, let's stay in reality and truth. Both tell us that life is hard. Sin and death bring with it the tragedies of life. Under that category we experience pain, loss and consequence. The first type of person in the list of three was one who views "life is good and God is good". Life works for this person. They've had a good childhood, needs met and love expressed. Expectations moved them to education, career, marriage and family life. Church and like minded friends have created a community to reinforce this mindset.  Ps. 73 speaks of a man who sees this person and is both captivated and confused by them.

For this person I would conclude that the game of life is not over. Though some may view this life as blessed by God, the bible would say otherwise....a plant with shallow root, a house built on sand - both appear to look well and secure. It is 'tragedy' and adversity that reveals the strength of its foundation.

If this person can cushion life to such an extent that tragedy and adversity are diverted or paid off (there are many problems money can solve), they may conclude as did Nebuchadnezzar, "Is not this great Babylon, which I have built by my mighty power as a royal residence and for the glory of my majesty?"

If life is measured by externals then God is seen as nothing more than a blessing for hard work and determination. To draw close to God in a personal way is of little value.

Your question is, how can one in this place change their perspective?
The easy answer is simply this - good theology.

Life is hard, God is good is good theology. This truth is embraced in the other kingdom - the Kingdom of God - "In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world."

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid."

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you."

"Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all."

The imperative, "Do not be anxious," is in the understanding of God's love and provision for you.

The truth? God wants to be our life, our dream come true. He is our provider both externally and internally. He satisfies my soul, fulfills my deepest need. Not that my life will be free from tragedy or adversity, but that His peace will be my strength in it. His joy provides an internal strength and external expression that brings the world to question, and God glory. God's grace is sufficient, his strength is made perfect in weakness!

Now it's from that place that this world God has created makes sense!

God never intended this world to satisfy.

He intended this world to be enjoyed! Notice for moment how your body has been created. Our senses are for our pleasure! Taste, smell, sight, touch, hear, it is the world that has perverted everything God intended for pleasure, why? Because they use what has been created for their fulfillment.

When God is your fulfillment then the world becomes your enjoyment. "I have come to give you life and that to the full."

So you see, "life is hard" doesn't mean one lives in defeat. On the contrary, we live intentionally with purpose, reasonable with wisdom because we know reality - 2 Cor. 4:8 " we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

Life is hard, God is good - in that reality I enjoy the substance of both life and relationship. Giving God the glory and reaping eternal life!

SPAR Thoughts

Free To See Me

 I woke up this morning with an unusual image in my mind: a baby with hands full of snot.  The baby was examining this goo with no hesitations.  What would be repulsive to an adult is the everyday occurrence in the purity of a child.

Examination into my own failure indicates it no longer has power over me.

Ps 139 speaks of David not held captive by his failure and therefore able to examine it with inquisitiveness.  Verse 23 "Search me, O God, and know my heart!  Try me and know my thoughts! 24 And see if there be any grievous way in me".  

David is opening himself up to God's examination.  This is not a man without sin, this is a man who knows God's loving kindness.  

In Rom. 12:1 it says to "present yourself as a living sacrifice to God."  What brings us to the place of even considering the idea of giving ourselves over sacrificially to God?  It's the same thing that brought David to God for examination - the mercies of God.

When will we stop hiding?

The question was posed in SPAR: how can a man who's experienced the effects of sin played out against him as a child by his father not have a distorted view of God as Father and in turn struggle with his own way of being a father to his children?   More than anything else this question is connected to who God is. Hiding from our past may be revealed by acting out in our behavior and choices,  opening ourselves up to neurotic, protective thoughts, or other behaviors intended for escape, or to at least deaden the painful effects of living.  All of which, in large part, is connected to a distorted view of God - a view that David does not have in Ps. 139, nor does Paul throughout his New Testament writings.

1 Cor. 2:14 gives us a contrast between the natural person and the spiritual person.  The 'natural' is limited in their understanding, whereas the 'spiritual' judges all things. Why? Because of secret and hidden wisdom God has revealed to us through the Spirit.

Embracing the truth that God reveals to heal opens one's heart to God's examination. Through Christ there is forgiveness, acceptance, sonship, abundant life.  What? In Jn.10 Jesus speaks of a loving, protective shepherd, guiding, leading and giving rest to his sheep and contrasting that to a thief that steals, kills and destroys life of the sheep. In verse 10 Jesus says, "I have come that they may have life and have it abundantly."

When we embrace what the world offers as our source of happiness before we  embrace God as our source of fulfillment, happiness will be pursued and elude us. It's in the pursuit that choices, leading to shame and isolation, are formed.  Our choices, our ways, our freedom to utterly destroy our lives is the greatest evidence of God's love. Love is only love when there is a choice not to love.

The father that abuses his children, the teen that hides his or her inadequacies, the single person driven to express their sexuality in demeaning ways, all of the harmful displays of insecurity are not of God, nor did they originate with God.  It is God who demonstrates his love for us in that while we were yet sinners Christ died for us.  His life for ours.

Now, in the embrace of God's mercy and unconditional acceptance I without hesitation open my life to be fully viewed by the only one who loves me enough to touch the "snot" of my humanity with an understanding that I have yet to understand, but trust.  It's in this trust I exam my failure as a 'child' with curiosity for better understanding and the freedom of forgiveness and redemption.  All the while knowing that at this time the best I will see is as through a glass dimly.  And that's OK  because in that place I live in gratitude and dependency on the One who knows me better than I know myself.  I no longer have to understand my past or be tormented by it, yet can embrace it knowing I can rest in God using my past in His way for His purpose.  Now I can offer myself to God as a living sacrifice, knowing that if He is asking me to be a living sacrifice then He has made me an acceptable sacrifice; holy and without blemish.

So, two foundational truths about God must be understood so that you will trust that God transcends evil and his love will transform you in the midst of the pain you've caused or the pain you've been a victim of.

1. God is sovereign.  He will never not be in control.
2. God uses everything in your life for your good and His glory.

In SPAR neither self-exalting nor self loathing is played out, rather men and women are better understanding their own humanity filtered through the truth of God, so that God, rather than Satan, is glorified in life!

What I'm Not Responsible For

Somewhere between sleep and wakefulness last night, I found my thoughts rummaging around in marriage.  I thought about everything I do apart from my wife, all that I am responsible for with regard to my own self.

The day I stand before God, my wife will not be standing next to me.  Who I am becoming is directly related to what God is working out in me.  Though this benefits my wife, she is not what motivates me, nor is she responsible for my calling or who I am in Christ. However, everything a man does in life is to be directly related to his marriage. His work, his hobbies, free time, all decisions regarding money, the future, ministry - everything is filtered through the health of his marriage to the benefit of his wife.

I am responsible for the quality of my own self.  My health, what I eat, a proper amount of sleep and exercise, all of which is under my control.  I am to be reading, thinking about the trends of our culture, growing spiritually and being sensitive to what God is and wants to be doing in my life.  So much of my life is living in Phil. 2:12,13 - intentional living while being mindful of who I am living for.

One would do well to consider  dependence and independence within marriage.

As men, we are responsible to take care of many things in many ways, but there is one area that is not ours to take care of ourselves.

My sexuality is to be literally in the hands of my wife.
"For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does", (1 Cor. 7:4).  I wonder what would happen to the intimacy of marriage, the initiative of men, the reconnection on every level in God's design for marriage if this verse was applied well?
The only area of my life that I am not to independently take care of is my sexuality. The power of a man is in his hormones so quit diminishing God's design for you in marriage. Your creativity, your initiation, the power of who you are as a man, husband and father all build from your hormonal and physiological make up.

Don't miss the power this verse gives to both men and women in marriage.  Don't think that the world has anything on Christians with regard to an exciting, vital sexual relationship.  We do know that everything God created for our good and enjoyment has been distorted and perverted by the world.  Rightly so, they are not living within the fulfilling, satisfying relationship of God.  They will never see the beauty of what God has created for those whose needs are satisfied in Him.  God has created our bodies to fully enjoy His creation only when we find our fulfillment in Him.

I have one question for you, a question that puts every desire into proper perspective, and your wife in the place God intends her to be - what is the source of your contentment?

So take your eyes off how the world wants you to define life.  Stop filtering your sexuality through what the world has to offer, and be transformed by renewing your mind with God's design for life, love and marriage.  "You are not your own, for you were bought with a price.  So glorify God in your body."

 I will not let the world define normal. In Christ I am the normal....in a peculiar and singular kind of way.

SPAR Thoughts

Works 'by faith' or 'for faith'?

Works within salvation is vital, it gives evidence of faith.  Not only that, it gives evidence for God, and glory to God in the world and to the world.

Maybe that's why some people distort works as vital for salvation.

Works are the end game of faith while in the world.  They prove we are Jesus' disciples.  They are connected to bearing fruit, proclaiming the gospel, making disciples, and caring for those in need; everything connected to the mission of Christ is through works.

The wonderful truth about salvation by faith in the work of what Christ has done is that the gift of the Holy Spirit now empowers the family of God unto good works,  "that we should walk in them", Eph. 2:10, confirming that our good works is an expression of our faith.

So, not only am I saved by faith, my works are motivated and empowered by faith!  Paul states in Timothy that good stewardship flows from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith.

Another distinction between 'by faith' and 'for faith' is peace within and the joy expressed outwardly as I am working the work. If God has saved me by grace through faith, then its my privilege to live out my faith in this world.
 
There is no getting around the  connection of works to salvation, I am, however, so thankful that salvation is not connected to works.

Luther describes the gift and empowerment of faith unto good works:

"Faith is God’s gift and grace, obtained by one man, Christ.  Therefore, faith is something very powerful, active, restless, effective, which at once renews a person and again regenerates him, and leads him altogether into a new manner and character of life, so that it is impossible not to do good without ceasing."

Type your new text here.

James 4:10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.
1Pet. 5:6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you.

 He may exalt you? He will put you front and center, in a place that glorifies Himself.

When one embraces the truth that life is not about "me", fear for how God "may" use you changes to fearlessly moving to how "will" God use you. Humility is open to opportunities that fear would have otherwise run from.

 As an elder within our church I have been charged with moving toward and connecting with people in the our congregation. This is one method our church uses to help people feel cared for and ministered to.

This takes deliberate contact on my part. I can, however, quickly move to feelings of fear and inadequacy which are forms of pride intended to protect me from whatever scenario of failure I imagine.

Pride is sin that prevents God from using me for His purposes. As I kick fear in the face I realize that fear is all about me. God "exalting" me is not about me; rather, it's about Him using me for His purpose.

Thinking about that diminishes fear simply because it's not me centered, rather works of service for His good pleasure. Honestly, that may not be a relief, but it is a wonderful motivation.

By Mark Alderson
October 27, 2019

1 Cor. 4:3 "But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged by you....in fact, I do not even judge myself."

Paul is not diverted by distraction - neither by his past nor another's criticism.  

Phil. 3:13 "forgetting what lies behind... This does not mean that Rom. 8:28 is not in effect. God is working my past out for His purpose. It does mean that what has taken place in the past will not divert Paul from effectively living today.  

".... and straining forward to what lies ahead, v. 14 I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus."  

"Straining forward, I press on toward the goal.... The best way to draw a straight line is to focus on where the line will end. The best way for effective ministry is to establish the purpose for your ministry. In so doing, your present is filtered through the end game.  Oh how purpose guards one against so many lies....so many distractions. Much of ministry expresses itself outwardly which can empower and destroy. The fruit of ministry is very satisfying, and in turn, can be deceptive. It's quite easy to agree with the positive effects your words have in someone's life. Therefore, it's imperative to live out ministry in the same way Jesus taught us to pray in Matt. 6:6. As you recall, Jesus saw how the religious leaders were praying. They took that which was internal expressed externally, and removed the internal completely. Quite easily done when one's eyes are on the approval of man. Jesus brought prayer back into the internal by instructing his disciples to go into the quiet, alone place of a room, close the door and talk to God who hears in secret. I contend that only in this place will one be empowered by Paul's perspective and God's calling in the midst of their own failure and triumph and the critical spirit of those who appose them.  

Paul's purpose was to proclaim God's love and grace, and present everyone mature in Christ (Col. 1:28,29). God's promise - the prize of the upward call of God, keeps Paul from distraction.  The intimacy of relationship keeps it real, (Phil. 3:8,9).  

How does one say, "imitate me, follow me as I follow Christ"? Their life is their relationship with God, how they live reflects that.  

What is important to you determines what you are distracted by. What you are distracted by is important to you. How do you see it?  

My friend Sandy responds:
This is the struggle that we fight in hope for what lies ahead but the world around us has to cover up because there is no hope outside Christ. This battle that flips and flops between "I'm not good enough" and "look what I did." For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. Galatians 5:17 This battle between immovable object and unstoppable force is impossible with man, but for God all things are possible... and not just possible...promised.  I've been battling Im not good enough for the last few weeks.  Thanks for this encouragement.