SPAR Thoughts

What I'm Not Responsible For

Somewhere between sleep and wakefulness last night, I found my thoughts rummaging around in marriage.  I thought about everything I do apart from my wife, all that I am responsible for with regard to my own self.

The day I stand before God, my wife will not be standing next to me.  Who I am becoming is directly related to what God is working out in me.  Though this benefits my wife, she is not what motivates me, nor is she responsible for my calling or who I am in Christ. However, everything a man does in life is to be directly related to his marriage. His work, his hobbies, free time, all decisions regarding money, the future, ministry - everything is filtered through the health of his marriage to the benefit of his wife.

I am responsible for the quality of my own self.  My health, what I eat, a proper amount of sleep and exercise, all of which is under my control.  I am to be reading, thinking about the trends of our culture, growing spiritually and being sensitive to what God is and wants to be doing in my life.  So much of my life is living in Phil. 2:12,13 - intentional living while being mindful of who I am living for.

One would do well to consider  dependence and independence within marriage.

As men, we are responsible to take care of many things in many ways, but there is one area that is not ours to take care of ourselves.

My sexuality is to be literally in the hands of my wife.
"For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does", (1 Cor. 7:4).  I wonder what would happen to the intimacy of marriage, the initiative of men, the reconnection on every level in God's design for marriage if this verse was applied well?
The only area of my life that I am not to independently take care of is my sexuality. The power of a man is in his hormones so quit diminishing God's design for you in marriage. Your creativity, your initiation, the power of who you are as a man, husband and father all build from your hormonal and physiological make up.

Don't miss the power this verse gives to both men and women in marriage.  Don't think that the world has anything on Christians with regard to an exciting, vital sexual relationship.  We do know that everything God created for our good and enjoyment has been distorted and perverted by the world.  Rightly so, they are not living within the fulfilling, satisfying relationship of God.  They will never see the beauty of what God has created for those whose needs are satisfied in Him.  God has created our bodies to fully enjoy His creation only when we find our fulfillment in Him.

I have one question for you, a question that puts every desire into proper perspective, and your wife in the place God intends her to be - what is the source of your contentment?

So take your eyes off how the world wants you to define life.  Stop filtering your sexuality through what the world has to offer, and be transformed by renewing your mind with God's design for life, love and marriage.  "You are not your own, for you were bought with a price.  So glorify God in your body."

 I will not let the world define normal. In Christ I am the a peculiar and singular kind of way.

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